THE MARTIAN: A professional Scotsman Review #4

SPOILER FREE Watch Trailer Here

I think about Total Recall a lot. It’s one of Arnie’s best films (so many to choose from!) and it’s actually my favourite film about Mars. It ties in a lot of esoteric ideas – pyramids on Mars, aliens, psychic abilities – all fantastic stuff which I’m actually obsessed with... sorry, I mean I have a passing acquaintance with. The funny thing about The Martian is that for a real world science movie it uses a lot of classic Mars tropes – the huge mountains, the red panoramas, decompression drama. So I guess the first place to start then is what other movies is it like – ‘cos there are many. The real question is; is that an issue?

Well, I’m not gonna make you wait 800 odd days and a slingshot around the earth for the answer; no, this isn’t a problem. In fact it’s a great b(M)oon. The first and most glaring comparison is the stellar Interstellar. Matt Damon provided a welcome un-credited cameo in that and here it’s almost as if this is a possible spin off – a single man trapped on an entire world by himself - except this time he’s a little more, um, heroic. The next one for me was Prometheus. Not thematically, no. But again that whole first people on a new world aspect, the visuals, the same director (Ridley Scott), and particularly the sandstorms which are exactly the same in both. There’s also Moon by Bowie’s son: Zowie Bowie, with a man all alone talking to himself from isolation fever. And then, and these two are the funniest; the 90’s flops The Red Planet and Mission To Mars which The Martian actually borrows from massively but as both films are considered to be awful I don’t think this is a welcome comparison. Confession time: I kinda like both those movies.

I respect Matt Damon a lot but he remains resolutely Matt Damon. In Saving Private Ryan the funniest bit is when he shows up and Spielberg bothers to pretend for a few seconds that he isn’t the titular Ryan when the whole audience is screaming: “THERE’S MATT DAMON!” And that was even before he was Matt Damon in the post modern Team America: World Police sense. So I find it hard to ever fully relax into watching Matt Damon. But my weirdness aside – he’s a solid actor and a good everyman for the lead role. As for the others, well everyone else is practically playing a comedic character. The film could almost be a bloody comedy (wasn’t expecting that) and to my mind this is a silly aspect in a real world setting but to be fair the audience I was with really enjoyed that. What do I mean? Well, yes, comedy is good – particularly in dark situations. But when everyone is cracking wise it all starts to affect the drama for me. And what the hell Bridesmaid’s Kirsten Wiig is doing in there is anyone’s guess. If you can tell me what role she’s playing other than comedic sidekick to Jeff Daniels then please send your answers in an encoded signal via the 1997 Mars Rover. Uh... I mean, answers on a post card.

But I’m being a bit grouchy here – sorry, I’ve been stranded with my own thoughts for... let me do the math; almost 13,4000 days now. What we have is serious science non-fiction set on a planet that has constantly been used as a projection for humanities most wondrous fantasies all the way back to the late 1800s with War Of The Worlds. And in this it has to be commended.

FINAL ANALYSIS: Absolutely fascinating but not as gripping as I’d hoped for given the real world aspects. Similar with Nolan’s Interstellar – once you base a movie on rigid realism when you get to the more fantastical aspects I often struggle to make the jump to light speed.

FINAL SCORE: A solid 7. But if you’re a massive science guy or gal add a point to that score.

ALTERNATIVE TITLE: You Gotta Get Your Ass To Mars!