AVENGERS: ENDGAME; A Professional Scotsman Review #29
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Apologies for the spoiler review. I waited to even watch the movie so that I could talk about it freely. Vagaries will not do here... besides the entire planet (or at least half, heh heh) should have seen it by now. Okay, so I said in my Avengers: Infinity War [7] review that if they brought everyone back then I’d mark it down from a 7 to a 6. The fact that they did exactly what I knew they’d do and was desperately not looking forward to, turned out to be less damning on Infinity Wars than I feared. I can now almost see the forerunner as an individual movie with an unexpected but satisfying conclusion. In Endgame I particularly enjoyed seeing the younger Thanos again – it reminded me of his remorseless determination and drive which made me think so fondly upon the first film. Infinity Wars felt like a slightly adult movie. I suppose Marvel felt confident that most of the fans of the MCU had grown up In the last 10 years and could handle it. The latest instalment feels like a slight regression in this regard.
Pepper Potts: Don't ever, ever, ever, ask me to do anything like that, ever again!
Tony Stark: I don't have anyone but you.
One major bonus is that the comedy is mostly on point here with the absolute stand out being the hilarious turn from Hemsworth as a fat Thor. The fact that he never slims up is a stroke of genius. How they’ve managed to make originally the most boring of characters into the most emotionally complex and the funniest is a testament to both the writing and Hemsworth’s witty performance. I laughed almost every time he was on the screen. I’m chuckling a bit now thinking about him. I wish they’d fattened up his face a bit more but regardless, I thought this was very bold all round. Not all heroes are as hench as Greek Gods it would seem. Overall, the dialogue swung from either really cheesy to quite beautifully written, this is a common Marvel trait so I happily ignore the stuff I don’t like and concentrate on the good. Tony’s check out line is a rather fabulous call back but I didn’t like the way most of the female characters were served, except for Black Widow. I though Captain Marvel was a bit wooden and seemed to have a grab bag of undefined powers. Yet the worst dialogue fell to Rudd as Ant Man who almost always said an extra line that wasn’t funny. I take it Ant Man’s girlfriend is The Wasp from Ant Man And The Wasp? I only ask because I’m never gonna watch that film. I know comedy is entirely subjective so maybe you found him funny. But if you do you're mathematically incorrect.
Tony Stark: You got a family?
Yinsen: Yes, and I will see them when I leave here. And you, Stark?
Tony Stark: [quietly] No.
Yinsen: So, you're a man who has everything... and nothing.
I thought the time travel plotting was an absolute hot mess. If you can genuinely tell me what was going on in clear, easily understood sentences then you’re a far smarter person than I. Going forward in every other Marvel movie, they can just use time travel to sort things out cant they? And if not, why not? Also, why exactly did Cap have to put the Infinity stones back? I just thought it was all really silly – though props to Mark Ruffalo’s Hulk for trying to make it funny. And yet, like in most time travel films, despite the absurdity of it all, it was a big guilty pleasure and as a concept I did enjoy the look back at the older films. The whole thing is fan fiction anyway so you may as well plunder the extensive back catalogue a la Back To The Future Part II [10]. Unlike in Spectre [7] where they suddenly tried to tie all the Daniel Craig Bond movies together with an overarching villain that was not set up at all previously, here it was quite well implemented and integrated. There was genuine enjoyment in seeing how much the characters had changed in comparison to their initial incarnations. It was nostalgic and fresh at the same time. Cap has a joke at his own earnestness (and butt) whilst Hulk mopes at how he doesn’t smash as much anymore as it's a little beneath his new persona. It was refreshing to see Marvel take the piss out of itself.
Tony Stark: Who the hell are you?
Nick Fury: Nick Fury. Director of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Tony Stark: Ah.
Nick Fury: I'm here to talk to you about the Avenger Initiative.
I’m a fan of the Marvel franchise in so much as I’ve watched almost all the films. Really didn’t like some, very much enjoyed others. I think the unexpectedly hilarious Thor: Ragnarok [9] has been my favourite, closely followed by the first Ironman [9] and that being the case I’m glad that Ironman himself has pretty much been the main character in the Avengers when they all team up. He started it all really. Objectively I can see that there is so much fan service here that hardcore fans will be delighted, which is fair enough even if it causes an excessive runtime. For me, thematically I thought the last film was a far more interesting – failure, death – an adult film at last. Though to be fair all of these themes are kinda lumped onto Downey Junior's character and his performance is very good. There's talk of an Oscar. I'd be shocked if he gets it but it wouldn't be undeserved. I thought the action was better in Infinity Wars – in this one it was a bit messy. Captain Marvel is knocking people over – including Thanos - then suddenly he backhands her and she’s down. The mix of abilities isn’t done as well as in the last film where they really felt like a combined team who's abilities complimented each other perfectly. And whilst I love that they just whack Thanos almost immediately it does somewhat inevitably diminish his threat. It means that his renewed battle with them here isn't personal as he's essentially a new villain. I really feel the Thanos in the last film wasn’t silly enough to let the one group of heroes who could kill him know which planet he was on. Also why didn’t he just create a new planet with the Infinity Gauntlet? There are a load of inconsistencies – the likes of which The Last Jedi [score under review] was utterly panned for. I suppose that because the film is still fun a lot of these issues become irrelevant.
Obadiah Stane: [shouting] Tony Stark was able to build this in a cave! With a box of scraps!
William Ginter Riva: Well, I'm sorry. I'm not Tony Stark.
So here are my two biggest gripes – for me the stakes had completely gone. Not only did everyone come back as predicted but they re-trod the excellent scene from the first one but with Hawkeye and Black Widow instead of Thanos and his daughter. Except… they don’t love each other, do they? Certainly not to the point that they’re each other’s most valuable person in the world. Or did I miss a movie? I thought you had to sacrifice the one you loved most? So… the person Black Widow loved the most was… herself? Mental. I thought it was weak when it should have been the film’s best scene. Tony’s death was obviously impactful (though I thought Paltrow could have given it bigger licks) but it paled in comparison to what happened at the end of the last movie - so even that lacked the weight it should. Though to be fair to RDJ he played it very well, understated and genuinely heroic. But what’s with no one crying at the funeral? His kid didn’t even seemed like she knew what was going on. Most funerals I’ve been at I cried or other people did. Instead everyone’s all stoic. Okay, fine. But where’s the snot? I wouldn’t have even minded if they’d used CGI...
[Pepper sends Stark a gift: an arc reactor in a case]
Pepper Potts: [inscription] "Proof that Tony Stark has a heart."
FINAL ANALYSIS: ...And yet the film is the most successful film of all time so all my critiques don’t matter. And I don’t really begrudge it that accolade – you can’t say that the MCU doesn’t deserve such recognition on effort alone. It’s taken over 20 movies to get to this point. I just wished that we’d got a slightly more adult send off. I have no desire to watch anymore Marvel films now – I’m clearly too old and boring and certainly fatigued. Besides, surely all the ideas have been explored to their fullest with these characters? I thought it was particularly interesting that there was no epilogue to the film – really what more is there to say? Instead we got a trailer for the upcoming Spiderman film – Far From Home. Smart move – they will be desperate to keep the show moving on in the wake of such an seemingly ultimate finale. Personally, I thought the new Spiderman film looked extremely silly – the Stark additions to his costume make him practically invincible, a gripe I have with many superheroes. But enough griping… it’s been a fun, if occasionally bumpy, ride to get to this point in the MCU. If I hop off it now no one will care. And I certainly have enjoyed the ride. Oh, and unlike most of your pals I did shed a tear for you Tony.
Tony Stark: I am Iron Man.
SCORE: Despite all my griping it’s a fun, sometimes exciting, solid 7. And all of Thor’s scenes are a 10.
ALTERNATE TITLE: Big Thor's House
