HALLOWEEN; A Professional Scotsman Review #26

Do you mind in the noughties when rappers were always in horror films? Redman was in The Seed Of Chucky [5], LL Cool Jay was in Deep Blue Sea [6] (not to mention the Halloween sequel H2O [shaky 6]), Kelly Rowland was in Freddy Vs Jason [7] and of course: Busta Rhymes was in the ironically titled Halloween: Resurrection [4], the irony being it buried the franchise. I don’t know why this happened except perhaps that they boosted audience attendances? But that can’t be true. I like all these performers (Busta in particular) but they were usually the worst thing in the film… except for Busta who was so astonishingly goofy that his appearance in Resurrection transcends it almost to genius. Almost…

Busta Rhymes: “Trick or treat, motherfu*ker!”

Question: what exactly is this new entry into the Halloweeniverse? Is it a sequel? A reboot? On the face of it it’s a sequel – Jamie Lee Curtis is back but… she died, like the franchise, in the afore mentionedl Resurrection. So… we’re discounting – what? Everything after the second film? So, it’s a direct sequel that misses out where the films started to go bad. Makes sense. Sorta. But it has nods to, as far as I’m aware, bits of Halloween 4: The Return Of Michael Myers [5] the underrated Halloween 3: Season Of The Witch [weird 8], which doesn’t even include Michael Myers. So *deep breath* it’s a sequel that chooses to discount some of the sequels and erases the lead character’s death altogether BUT, and here’s the kicker, it’s just called Halloween – like the original – so it’s a confirmed reboot too. And it also staunchly completely discounts the flawed Rob Zombie remake, also called Halloween [5] and the dreadful Halloween 2 [4] that Zombie followed limply up with. We clear?

Busta Rhymes: “Let the dangertainment begin! [quietly] Up in this motherfu*ker.”

Okay, so right from the off it’s giving the fans a sequel they deserve with all the elements they want. Michael’s mask looks good – though I think the latex would have rotted over 40 years - and it pays reverential homage to what’s gone before whilst spinning an energetically plausible follow up. Most importantly Jamie Lee Curtis is back as a badass (Sarah Connor anyone?) and has plenty to do. It’s very violent, gruesome even, which the OG actually isn’t, but I think modern fans will be happy with this. The music is good, brilliant in fact – John Carpenter himself returning to deliver a fabulous new score. And the start of the film is a riot. I won’t say too much but it builds great tension, gives our villain a terrific intro and has an old school, innovative title sequence which I really appreciated. There are some slick and unnerving tracking shots that pay direct homage to the original. There is slightly more meat to the bones as far as characterization is concerned, even than the original. It’s well acted, packed with solid performers and even the incidental knife fodder usually at least get their moment before they’re offed. And the ones that don’t stand out as shocking - though there's no one with perma-haunted class to match Donald Pleasance in the OG.

Busta Rhymes: “Looking a little crispy over there, Mikey. Like some chicken-fried motherfucker. Well, may he never, ever rest in peace.”

There are some very goofy lines in the script on occasion which was jarring; “I got peanut butter on my penis” will unfortunately stick in the mind. That said the teenagers aren’t appalling and they seem to have been chosen because they look normal and kind of 70s-ish somehow – unlike most of the generically stock beautiful people I see in similar fare. So that was cool. There’s a very young kid who I found unfunny but the audience seemed to lap him up so I’ll give him a pass. But I’ll tell you what it definitely cannot replicate – the freshness of the original. But then how could you? And the director, who’s work was previously predominantly comedy, makes some lame choices on the smaller things. How the granddaughter’s phone is taken out of play is beyond clunky and I found much of the comedy misplaced. Try as you might there are not many directors with the mastery of technique and tone of a 70s/80s John Carpenter. And without such grip on the material the main weakness – lack of haunting tone – begins to pervade. It’s just not spooky enough – though it is undeniably tense – so I must give it credit there. And while there are some questionable decisions made by our characters there are some good, nail biting set pieces that thrilled the audience I was with including one very smart fake out that elicited a cheer and a clapping of hands from the girl in front of me. You'll know when it happens.

Freddie Harris: “Hey Mikey! Happy Fu*kin' Halloween!”

FINAL ANALYSIS: I had a great time. Despite all my criticisms it was a delight to see the material being taken seriously, with respect. It was cool to see Jamie Lee Curtis clearly game and energised and despite all the imitators, knock offs and the slew of worsening sequels, this subject and material is still fun. Hardcore fans will be happy and casual viewers will enjoy it. There are flaws – but this is overcome by the filmmakers clear love of the material and passion in the final product. It’s certainly the most competent horror remake/retooling/whatever I’ve seen in the last couple of decades, though, let's be honest; the competition isn’t particularly fierce.

SCORE: An enjoyable 7. Would have been 8 or 9 if Busta Rhymes was in it.

ALTERNATIVE TITLE: Halloween The 3rd