THE REVENANT; A Professional Scotsman Review #7

#MINOR SPOILERS#

Do you know what the problem with hype is? In this specific case Oscar buzz? Well, when the movie started the camera pans across Leonardo DiCaprio's face and my pal Rik Gordon turned to me and whispered: "Oscar." From that point on I kept laughing at all the 'Oscar worthy' scenes. Don't get me wrong; Leo is a fine actor and I have enjoyed all his films since Blood Diamond where he actually finally started to look like a man and film roles didn't hang off him like a young girl wearing her mother's clothes. If fact; I loved him in Inception (10), Wolf Of Wall Street (7 - not a great film but a good role) and he's pretty decent in this too. But the acting here is so one note it's hard to remember anything memorable he does. His face is permanently set to one of anguish, mixed with stoic determination and he does it well but there's not much character there.

Funnily enough I just wrote a review about how Rey in Starwars was possibly a Mary Sue character - an invincible hero who can do anything. Well, this is waaaaaaay worse! At least Rey can use the force - here we have a man who survives the slaughter of his party by Indians, is mauled brutally by a bear before being left for dead. Then he walks/crawls/swims many miles through a freezing, inhospitable environment before jumping off a cliff on horseback and, well, I won't totally spoil it for you. Let's just say it all get a little Empire Strikes Back. Tom Hardy fares better to my mind - at least there are shades of ambiguity to his character before he slides into OTT super villain territory. But the acting in generally strong so I won't come down on that too hard - I just think all the Oscar buzz is funny. Then again I couldn't care less about the Oscars really, it's not like my favourite films ever win it (plus I still think Danny Dyer should have got an Oscar in Human Traffic - I'm not kidding).

Now, as for the cinematography - it is stunning. The shot selection and implementation of technique is cutting edge, groundbreaking and wholly wonderful. The use of natural light is lovely and gives the proceedings a washed out blue vibe. However, I have slight issue with the long, unbroken takes the director uses. They make me feel like I'm in a simulator or on a rollercoaster - which works brilliantly in two bravura scenes: the opening one take shot used in a battle and Leo's scrap with a bear (which also features beautiful CGI). These are wonderful and yet... I still think Saving Private Ryan has a better opening battle scene - by quite a bit actually. And whilst I enjoy these scenes I find them bizarrely disconnecting from the characters that I should be rooting for. As another example I find the battle scenes in a 'lesser' movie like Last Of The Mohichans (10) considerably more visceral and evocative. I'm never going to get drunk and cry whilst watching The Revenant as I used to with 'Mohichans. Uh... I mean what I'm trying to say is that there's no real substitute for well crafted editing combined with music. That said - the camerawork and the scenes I've mentioned really must be seen on the big screen to appreciate and I commend the DOP for his groundbreaking work. It's an incredible looking movie.

The soundtrack annoyed me. At times we have awesome atonal, primal notes which work beautifully. Then we have a random disembodied chick (his dead wife?) talking away with trance-like undertones. This took me completely out of the film. Hang on... am I being too much of a nit picky grouchy old man here? What's wrong with me? The film is getting nothing but universal praise but at times I was laughing at it. To be honest it was predominantly Leo's invincible superhero-ness I couldn't handle and the saintly purity attached to the Natives (Hmmm... I have a feeling that American Indians could be bad too) and it all smacked a bit of modern day PC gone mad (an outlook I predominantly agree with personally) which would not have been at all relevant 200 years ago. Like, why is Leo living with American Indians? There is no back story to this at all. How did he fall for the native mother? Why is she and his son regularly appearing in CGI ghost form? Wait, what?!? Which brings me to another gripe - you can't make a hyper real, gruelling slog of a movie and then chuck in ghosts. You can do one or the other. And can you please stop making everything slow when there's no need? I'm kind of astonished at the lack of rules modern day directors are given (by themselves or the studio) when editing. Wolf Of Wall Street went on forever and from a director who should know better. Interstellar and The Dark Knight Rises go on forever. Birdman goes on forever. This review is starting to go on forever.

FINAL ANALYSIS: Breathtaking cinematography. Ridiculous story. Good acting. Absurdly pretentious title - I still don't know what it means. Modern day cinema is technically astonishing, but the stories are often only surface deep. Artifice is replacing old school virtues and I'm finding it easier to dislike films that I should love. I think I'm officially old.

SCORE: I'm giving it a solid 7 but it wore me down like no other film I think I've ever seen. It starts on a 10 but casually chucks it away with ridiculously unbelievable events and turgid pacing which doesn't relent till the last shot. Gruelling stuff.

ALTERNATE TITLE: The Wall Of Wolf Street.